Icarus

By Jan Watts

 

Characters

Tim Tam – a man trapped from childhood in a confined space.

Buzzy Bee – a woman trapped from birth in a confined space.

Big Wednesday – a bungee jumper (with good legs).

The Voice – an artificially generated tape recording

 

Set

 Set in New Zealand. A white room. Hanging from one wall is a bed, with bedding and bedside cabinets. It looks like a normal bedroom now, but it is hanging on the wall – the orientation is wrong for the present. A shelf to stand on at the bottom of bed and velcro on the bedding would make it possible to ‘go to bed’.

 

There is an archway off to the rest of the living space.

 

At the beginning of the play, the painting -The Son of Man by Rene Magritte (a business man in a bowler hat with a large green apple blotting out his face) – is projected on one wall. This changes to Landscape with the Fall of Icarus by Breughel (a view from a ploughman on a cliff towards a ship on the sea, little legs can be seen disappearing into the water) at the beginning of Act 2.

 

Tone

Though the characters might use childlike words, this is an adult world and until the feet come through the ceiling, it is a world of infinite boredom and repetition. The language is rhythmic.

 

SCRIPT

 

Scene 1

(Sometime in the future. As the audience enter, Tim Tam and Buzzy Bee sit on the end of their bed like relaxed robots, in their matching pyjamas in their crisp white bedroom.  They both have IPOD/MP3 type players on. They both get into bed, kiss chastely, they take their glasses off, turn their lights off and lie down. Tim Tam hums along to a Kylie song he’s listening to and Buzzy Bee to Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture. Their humming become snores. Blackout.)

 

 

Scene 2

 

(Morning light. Tim Tam & Buzzy Bee are lying, standing, in bed with IPOD/MP3 type players plugged in their ears.)

 

The Voice                    Good now day, moles everywhere.

It’s the sands of time for a change.

We travel from the visual,

Rene Magritte’s The Son of Man

 that’s at number P on the NOW visual chart,

to number Q and another opportunity to saviour Breughel’s Landscape with the Fall of Icarus.

It’s our flavoured visual.

Ancient  moles must remember

fluffing the ground stuff to grow….. stuff.

Havenice…havenice….brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

 

(Lights flash on and off. The picture changes to Landscape with the Fall of Icarus. Tim Tam sits up, takes his earphones out. Takes a cotton wool bud out of a pack on his bedside table and clears his ears dramatically. He puts his glasses on and meticulously cleans the earphones. Buzzy Bee sits up and watches him. Tim Tam puts the earphones on.)

 

Buzzy               (Taking her earphones off and passing them to M.) Cleanse mine. Tim Tam.  Cleanse Mine.

(TimTam ignores her. He is engrossed in his sounds.)

 

Tim                  (Holds the earphones tightly to his head as if listening carefully. Then to nobody.) The forecast is for rain again, Buzzy Bee.

 

Buzzy               What does that understanding?

What is ‘rain?

What is ‘rain again’?

 

(Buzzy Bee gets a bud and tries cleaning her earphones, but she

has problems with the controls because she can’t see. She fumbles

around looking for her glasses. She finds them, puts them on, but still can’t adjust her IPOD/MP3 type player to work. Tim Tam starts a rigorous exercise routine. Tim Tam is listening to a constant loop of Olivia Newton John’s ‘Physical’.)

 

Buzzy               Can you have a snoop at this?

I’ve mucked up the sledging.

It’s functioning’s corrupt .

Well, the noise isn’t coming.            

Well, not exiting the earphones.

 

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like, 
Makin' good conversation
I gotta handle you just right, 
You know what I mean.

 

Buzzy               Know what you mean?

Handling me?

 When was the last  event when you handled me?

 

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

…suggestive movie…

 

Buzzy               We never go out.

We can’t get out.

Labour nice from homeplaced they say.

No nice choice.

 Have your worker station at homeplaced….yeh….

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

There's nothin' left to talk about.

Buzzy               You texture that to?

 I feel just struck in my brain.

My attention is already taken.

It’s not available to you.

(Buzzy  does complicated actions to help explain.)

 Somewhere on the trip e rip trip,

whoopee doop - pass the lobe,

through the canalalnal canal,

wouncing off the de drumidrum,

riding the stirrup – rup-pe-pup

 and clammering the anvil - vil

my attention is taken by…….this.

(She waves the IPOD/MP3 player.)

The interfering messages are delivered.

to the auditory perve nerve.

From sound source through

 the ear hole  to the brain drain.

And it has my undivided attention.

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

Let’s get physical, physical

Buzzy               Look, you doing pressing ups, is not foreplay.

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

 I'm saying all the things that I know you'll like.

Buzzy               That’s grubbish….that’s not Kylie…it’s not Kylie…

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

You gotta know that you're bringin' out
The animal in me.

Buzzy               It’s bloody Olivia Newton frogging John…isn’t it?

                        Another pre-War Three blondy  blimbo!

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

I'm sure you'll understand my point of view, 

We know each other mentally.

Buzzy               Mentally! Mentally!

We may share a bed hang,

 but we share nothing in our brains.

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

Let me hear your body talk.

Buzzy               Body talk! Bloody talk!

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

I’ve been patient.

Buzzy               Now this scrotum  tum tum doesn’t function anymore….

                        (Shaking the IPOD/MP3 player.)

                        No, it really doesn’t labour anymore.

                        No, what am I going to do, Tim Tam?

Tim                  Makin’ good conversation.

Buzzy               Exactly, no conversation.

No sound that makes noise to my ear holes.

No connecticking!

And I can’t be flobbed off

by listening to grubbish from

             a velplex box the size of

 a herbal nicety packet.

Tim                  (Sings very badly.)

There’s nothin’ to talk about.

Buzzy               Yes, there isn’t.

                        Nil to chatterlying about.

                        Nil at all.

                        We don’t even hear to the same things

on these monstrosity  things.

 (Indicates IPOD/MP3 player).

Differential Playlists.

Differential Playlists!

DID YOU LISTEN ME?

DIFFERENTIAL PLAYLISTS!

(Tim Tam is still exercising. Buzzy  jumps on his back.)

I SAID – DIFFERENTIAL PLAYLISTS!

(Tim Tam thinks this ‘jump’ as an overture to sex, turns

around and goes to kiss Buzzy Bee. Buzzy Bee knees

Tim Tam in the groin.)

Tim                  What was that for?

Buzzy               Take out your earphones.

Tim                  Darling cabbage, I can’t listen what you’re saying.

 I’m hearing to Olivia.

You know the oil woman, no, Grease woman.

Buzzy               Cod liver oil,

chipalola  oil,

axle-ation  grease.

Don’t care if she’s been battered like Oakey Dokey Hoki.

I am not competing with an old grout trout

who blasts noise in your ear holes.                        

Tim                  Sorry, Darling….I’ve just got one track rack to go…

Buzzy               Then you’ll give me your carefulness!

NO! I’m not waiting!

I’ve waited long enough!

(Buzzy Bee and Tim Tam struggle as Buzzy Bee whips

the earphones out of Tim Tam’s ears.)

Tim                  What are you doing, Buzzy Bee?

You’ll smage them.

They were new at Wintery Festive Day.

 Double  Double Dolby with whisper woofers.

Buzzy               WHISPER WOOFERS UP YOUR…….BACK PASSAGE!

Tim                  You had whisper woofers too.

It was your idea.

You said ‘let’s ask…’

Buzzy               WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY?

                        Let’s not ask Farmer Festive for woofers?